Adoption in India: A Journey of Love, Challenges, and Legal Hurdles On Crossroad Conversation
- Sep 24, 2024
- 4 min read
On our recent podcast at Crossroad Conversation, Nehal and I dove deep into her personal journey of adopting her daughter and the complex realities of adoption in India. As someone who shares a personal connection to the adoption process, I was eager to explore the emotional, legal, and societal dimensions of adoption with Nehal. Together, we discussed not only the unique challenges faced by adoptive parents and children, but also the critical need for reform in India's adoption system.
Nehal Nangia, Director of Research at the Josh Bersin Company, brings 15 years of experience in human capital, specializing in talent management, workforce transformation, and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DE&I). At Josh Bersin, she leads workforce research and content strategy for the Josh Bersin Academy, drawing from her previous roles at Gartner and Deloitte, where she focused on talent strategy, DE&I, and performance management. Nehal holds a master’s degree in psychology and provides strategic guidance to HR leaders using data-driven insights.
Below is a snippet of our conversation on #Crossroad Conversation
The Long Road to Adoption: Legal Framework and Procedures
In India, the adoption process is a lengthy one, often taking over three years. This includes multiple rounds of vetting, interviews, legal paperwork, and waiting periods. Nehal shared her personal experience of adopting her daughter Arya, shedding light on the emotional and bureaucratic rollercoaster that potential adoptive parents face.
A computer-based algorithm plays a role in matching parents with children, using broad categories such as age, gender, and medical history. Nehal emphasized that the process can be grueling, with families having to deal with uncertainties and delays. For children who cannot return to their biological parents, the system finds suitable matches, but the waiting time can vary significantly depending on factors such as the child’s age or medical needs.
Challenges Faced by Adoptive Parents and Children
Adoptive parents face unique challenges, often exacerbated by societal attitudes toward adoption. Nehal mentioned how many adoptive parents struggle with whether to disclose the fact of adoption to their children and the world, fearing judgment or intrusive questions. The COVID-19 pandemic added to these pressures, as families were isolated and had to rely solely on their immediate circle of support.
For adoptive children, especially older ones, the journey is not just about adjusting to a new family but also coping with the loss of their birth family and the trauma that often comes with it. Nehal highlighted the importance of open, honest communication between parents and children to help them process these emotions and build trust.
Disparities in Leave Policies and the Need for Supportive Legislation
One of the most significant disparities in India’s adoption landscape is the difference in leave policies for adoptive parents versus biological parents. Nehal shared her experience navigating various corporate policies, highlighting that many companies offer less leave to adoptive parents, especially if the child is older than three months. This lack of parity in policies not only places adoptive parents at a disadvantage but also creates additional stress during the crucial bonding period with their child.
The legal provisions for adoptive leave in India need reform to ensure that all parents, regardless of how their family is formed, receive adequate time and resources to care for their children. Nehal emphasized that more inclusive policies would also encourage more people to consider adoption, especially of older children.
Building a Community of Adoptive Families
Nehal’s public announcement of adopting Arya received overwhelming love and support from friends, family, and even strangers. This reaction was a testament to the fact that, despite societal challenges, there is a growing understanding and acceptance of adoption. She shared how making the announcement early helped shield Arya from potentially hurtful comments and built a supportive community of other adoptive families.
Community support is essential in the adoption journey. Both parents and children need spaces where they can share experiences, seek advice, and find comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone. Nehal and I discussed how creating such communities, whether through social media, support groups, or public announcements, can foster a kinder, more inclusive society.
Adoption, Leadership, and Motherhood: The Parallels
Interestingly, Nehal also drew parallels between her experiences in motherhood and her professional life in leadership. She spoke about how skills such as strategic thinking, patience, and adaptability are vital in both roles. As a leader in HR, she has had to navigate crises and manage people, much like she has had to manage the emotional landscape of parenting an adopted child.
This comparison underscores a broader lesson: both motherhood and leadership require the ability to stay grounded while handling evolving challenges. The adoption journey has equipped Nehal with unique insights, teaching her the importance of flexibility, empathy, and resilience.
Conclusion: A Call for Compassion and Reform
Adoption in India, while rewarding, is a journey that requires emotional strength, patience, and a robust support system. As Nehal emphasized, reforms are necessary to create a more compassionate legal framework, with equal policies for adoptive parents, and societal support that reduces stigma around adoption. The growing community of adoptive families, bolstered by love and acceptance, proves that our world can be kinder and more inclusive.
For prospective adoptive parents, the key takeaways are to prepare for the long and sometimes difficult road ahead, but also to recognize that the rewards far outweigh the challenges. Love, after all, is the common thread that ties families together—whether formed by birth or adoption.
Stay tuned for the full Podcast episode on Crossroad Conversation, coming soon.
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